justgowythit

Still so in love with him. Been awhile since I blogged. But here goes…

I am still amazed by this man who holds my heart. Unbelievable how he consumes every part of me. My sleep, my thoughts and my everyday life. I wish and hope that every person out there feels this kind of love! It’s amazing! I get lost in his golden amber eyes. Lost in the sound of his deep, sensual voice. Lost in his arms. I love to watch him move.  The strides he takes as he walks and carries himself. I know he will never completely know how deep my love is for him but I hope to show him everyday. Not in just the big things, but also in the small things too. He may not be perfect. But then again neither am I. He is however perfect for me. Intelligent, sweet, handsome, the list goes on. You know he’s pretty much every wonderful adjective out there! I couldn’t imagine a life without him in it. EVER! How I got to be such a lucky girl I’ll never know. But I am incredibly happy…really, really happy. 

I haven’t felt this bad in a very long time. I will never understand why people start rumors and say such hurtful things. And if you believe them over defending me, well I guess I’m at a loss for words. You have only known me for like 27+ years. I think you would know me by now. And know that’s not at all how I am. Nor how I would ever be. Hurt doesn’t even describe how I am or how I feel. Not sure what your insecurities are about me. No, let me rephrase that, what they are about yourself. I’m so disappointed that you would believe their lies and false accusations. After everything, every minute I’ve spent with you. Everything I’ve done with/for you. And never asked for anything in return. I didn’t judge you then and don’t judge you now. And it seems that every time I say something you don’t want to hear you get upset with me. And shut me out for days. But I’m not allowed to be upset? What’s that? I personally enjoyed you asking me out for drinks and dinner then completely and blatantly ignoring me at the bar. Then got quiet and said you didn’t want to eat. So I just took you home. I still love you with all my heart. I just hate the breakdown in communication between us. I miss talking to you and seeing you. But I do really understand our situation. Doesn’t mean I have to like it. I just don’t get the high school games you now play since you got a roommate. Again I’m over it and we’ve sort of talked things through. I just needed to vent. Still not feeling great about any of it though. I hope that things will be better for us again sooner rather than later. I love you…always have, always will.